Nestled on an 11-acre farmland in Rutledge, Georgia, sits a special rescue for dogs.
The dream for pet and horse photographer Courtney Bryson, whom you may remember from The Art of Finding the Perfect Imperfect, and her wife Renee Ussery began when they helped on a hoarding case in August 2011.
There were 35 Boston terriers, pugs and buggs, or Boston-pug mixes, in crisis. Local rescues teamed up and needed just six days to coordinate transportation and fosters for each dog. But first they had to wait in a non-climate-controlled and very crowded municipal shelter. Six to eight dogs were in each kennel and they were all suffering from mange, flea infestations and illnesses. More than half contracted parvo and died.
Courtney and Renee launched their mission: to look for land where they could build a short-term emergency shelter for dogs in crisis. They purchased their property in October 2012 and launched the Rescue Ranch with 17 indoor kennels, each with its own outdoor dog run, and space for veterinary exams.
And over there in the corner, you’ll see a memorial garden for the pets they took in and never left.
As the Rescue Ranch evolved in this last decade, Courtney and Renee are rising to the challenge of working with medically fragile and hospice animals.
Which means they have to say goodbye … often. Sometimes sooner than they expected.
Today, they share with us a conversation they have about the challenges of facing grief as often as they do. Have a listen.
What to listen for
5:23 The first hospice dog they cared for
8:19 Caring for and losing medically fragile dogs
10:10 Making the decision to end a dog’s life
13:01 Giving each dog a full life
18:30 The emotional impact of losing a dog
23:40 How grief manifests in rescue work
Where to find Courtney and the Rescue Ranch
CM Bryson Photography
The Rescue Ranch
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Angela
Welcome to One Last Network and the Art of Loving Them All.
Nestled on an 11-acre farmland in Rutledge, Georgia, sits a special rescue for dogs.
The dream for pet and horse photographer Courtney Bryson, whom you may remember from The Art of Finding the Perfect Imperfect, and her wife Renee Ussery began when they helped on a hoarding case in August 2011.
There were 35 Boston terriers, pugs and buggs, or Boston-pug mixes, in crisis. Local rescues teamed up and needed just six days to coordinate transportation and fosters for each dog. But first they had to wait in a non-climate-controlled and very crowded municipal shelter. Six to eight dogs were in each kennel and they were all suffering from mange, flea infestations and illnesses. More than half contracted parvo and died.
Courtney and Renee launched their mission: to look for land where they could build a short-term emergency shelter for dogs in crisis. They purchased their property in October 2012 and launched the Rescue Ranch with 17 indoor kennels, each with its own outdoor dog run, and space for veterinary exams.
And over there in the corner, you’ll see a memorial garden for the pets they took in and never left.
As the Rescue Ranch evolved in this last decade, Courtney and Renee are rising to the challenge of working with medically fragile and hospice animals.
Which means they have to say goodbye … often. Sometimes sooner than they expected.
Today, they share with us a conversation they have about the challenges of facing grief as often as they do. Have a listen.
Courtney
Today, I thought that we would talk with my wife, Dr. Renee Ussery. about some of the experiences that we’ve had in running the Boston Terrier rescue that we founded in 2014, the Rescue Ranch, where we have come to specialize in medically fragile and hospice dogs, which means we get to see a lot of grief. So, Renee, do you want to introduce yourself?
Renee
Hey, I’m Renee Ussery. I’m actually a clinical psychologist. I work with children. So I do not specialize in grief or working with adults. I think I’ll be talking from experience today from just what we do in rescue from our own pets.
Courtney
So how do you think that we ended up kind of falling into this niche of medically fragile and hospice dogs?
Renee
I would say I guess, our experience, I think, the longer we were in rescue, the more experiences that we had with different kinds of dogs. And I think we figured out that we do the dogs, or we do really well with the dogs that require kind of ongoing needs or have the medically complex presentations. So I think it kind of fell into that in that we would end up losing several of those, whether it was like cleft lip and palate, babies that we were trying to tube feed, or we had like pugs with degenerative disorders that we lost … all sorts of things. So I think the more, the more or longer we are in rescue, the more we kind of that’s what we experienced. And then I think people sought us out because we have that experience. And we became known for that. So it just increased the number of kind of medically complex. Or even with hospice, we had always opened up a spot to Atlanta Pyrenees rescue, to do their hospice dogs. were set up on a farm. I think it was great for them. They loved it. And we would come in with a mindset that we would only have them for — what — a week or two. And then six months later, they were still with us. So I think they thrived here with us and with the kind of farm environment.
Courtney
I do think I think that once we moved out here to the farm and the way that my job is set up now where I’m primarily at home, kind of gave us a unique ability to deal with some of the dogs that needed medications every few hours or two feeding every couple of hours.
Renee
Yeah, monitoring procedure, activity. All those things. Yeah, it was an absolute blessing that you work from home.
Courtney
Can you remember the first hospice dog that we brought in?
Renee
I’m guessing it would be a Pyrenees. But we’ve lost so many … like we’re actually sitting in our living room and there is a cabinet that I’m guessing probably has 40 sets of ashes that we have fostered or cared for. I don’t know the first one.
Courtney
I think even before the Pyrenees, we had some of the Bostons. We had Titan and …
Renee
But I don’t think we went into it thinking this was a hospice, because they were unadoptable, and they stayed with us until they passed or they developed some sort of medical condition that they passed from.
Courtney
I was trying to think back because we had like Theo, remember the husky that we got from animal control that they thought he’d been hit by a car and he was a senior guy, and we thought that we would have him forever. And then he got adopted, and he came back. So I guess in the end, we did have him forever until he passed. Yeah. Okay, Pal. You remember Pal, the other husky …
Renee
Was there one that had gotten shot?
Courtney
That was Pal. He had been shot.
Renee
Yeah. And then he developed like a sarcoma. Ya know, it’s hard to remember all of them. I think, when you have that many. Like, how many do you think we’ve fostered over the years?
Courtney
Over a thousand. Yeah. Oh, we’ve been doing this 15 years and for a while we were doing 100 dogs a year.
Renee
I couldn’t tell you first, but they are not saying that they weren’t meaningful. I just don’t know that I could remember all of those their names, which is kind of sad. On my end.
Courtney
I couldn’t remember all their names. I was trying to think when we were kind of getting ready for this. Like, there are some that stand out. And there are some that I think about at certain times of year or when we do certain things that I know they would have loved. But I couldn’t sit here and create a list of names.
Renee
There’s no way. No, but I think we like absolutely cherish them while we have them. So, but what was the husky that I mean, or the Pyrenees one. He’s, we have the picture with him with the hat on Davey.
Courtney
Stevie.
Renee
Like Stevie was precious. And Kip Kip, the giant one. And then we have little teeny tiny Bree that we lost last year at this time.
Courtney
Yeah. I’ve been thinking a lot about Bree. As we get ready for this upcoming week.
Renee
Yeah. So she died almost exactly this week last year. And she was a train wreck of a dog or a puppy. And, yeah, that one was a gut punch.
Courtney
So I think one of the things that we have gotten to experience that I don’t know that many pet parents get to experience, I guess, kind of kuckily, many pet parents don’t get to experience is losing them at all stages. Everything from tiny puppies, yeah, that we’ve either tube fed or had abandoned that came in with issues or had some other kind of medical thing that we were working on, to kind of very sudden losses in what felt like the prime of their life to kind of having to make decisions as they age on quality of life.
Renee
I think the frequency that we experienced this is partly insane. But it does give you that kind of unique perspective of looking at it from all life stages. And but still, I think we’ve always kept are, the more that we grew as rescuers. And as people, I think the more we quality of life became more and more and more important, like looking back on ones that we should have let go sooner, you know, or when we just started a rescue, because you just don’t want to have to make that call. Or you don’t know if it’s time like, you know, you kind of sit there and you try to weigh it out. To now it’s like, no, this is the best gift I can give them. You know, we’ve utilized every treatment option available. And their quality of health means … or quality of life and so much more. Not that it didn’t back then. But I think it was just such a tough decision to make. Yeah, we’ve had to make it 100 times. It’s a lot easier the hundredth time versus the second time.
Courtney
Yeah. Well, I feel like we’ve done a better job of knowing. I don’t know, I guess kind of distance from it and practice and doing it.
Renee
We have to take a step back and look and really assess it. Yeah.
Courtney
Yeah, it’s a luxury that you don’t have.
Renee
Like Wins … is it Winston? We should have let go way before we did. And I feel guilty about that one. Would I make a totally different decision now than I did then. But I thought I was doing the best by him. Yeah, back then. But in retrospect, no.
Courtney
And I think like, one of the ones that really sticks out for me is Scooter. Remember, she is the one you … she was an owner surrender. And we didn’t know but she had been receiving medication for heart failure and glaucoma. And those didn’t come with her when she was surrendered.
Renee
Nor did they disclose that. And you were mad.
Courtney
I was mad. That was one of the times I was the angriest. I think in the time that we’ve done this. Because it wasn’t fair to her.
Renee
No. No, that was, that was bad. I think some people … it was presented as this was a senior dog and they think what they were moving or something. They couldn’t take care of her any longer. They couldn’t take her with them. And we get her and we’re like, oh, something’s really wrong. And we took a couple of days and diagnostics to figure out what was going on with her when she was really ready to go.
Courtney
Yeah. And I think now looking back, kind of again with that distance of seeing it and making the call over and over that we would have made a call sooner for her.
Renee
We were still trying to figure out what was going on. Yeah. You didn’t know. We only had 24 hours.
Courtney
And I think the other big one for me that I feel like we did a pretty good job on was Boogie, who came in … which they ended up after she passed had the necropsy done at the University of Georgia. And they ended up diagnosing her with …
Renee
Encephalopathy.
Courtney
Encephalitis, yeah. Encephalitis of the brain. An idiopathic encephalitis, which is always kind of the most frustrating diagnosis, and then we stick idiopathic. For what? I don’t know. But I think that experience kind of really taught me about trying to fit as many good things in as we could to kind of give them this really incredible experience while they’re with us, not just for dogs that come in as hospice dogs, but even for our own dogs. I want to do more with them.
Renee
So for if you didn’t know Boogey’s story, we made a bucket list for. I mean, once we kind of diagnostically figured out that this was a degenerative disease process that she was going through that we knew our time was limited with her that we really were able to set up an amazing what, two, three weeks for her that any and everything that you could think that a dog would want to do, we did with her. And we had a big social media presence. People would write in, they were working on letting her go out at the Braves stadium. Remember, there were some folks that worked for Turner that were working on that. Sadly, she passed before that was able to be done. But other people wanted to see her travel all around the United States. So we ended up taking her to Stone Mountain, where it had all of the southern states, like a monument for them. So that we were able to stop and visit and talk about each state with her. She went and met horses and snakes, and remember at PetSmart. We took her to PetSmart, to pick out a toy. And we ran into a snake, a pet snake. But a lot of people followed her. And she impacted a lot of people, because it really was about just get the absolute most out of life. coordinated, photographed her and made a book that we ended up selling, and donated all the funds to the neurology department at the UGA School of Veterinary Medicine. So we kind of chuckled afterwards that there were probably not many rescues that are able to donate … it was couple thousand, wasn’t it? … went to a vet school, when historically we would spend several thousand there. But that was a really neat department a neat experience. And we get to meet a lot of the neurology department, the head of the department, different branches of the school. So that was really neat. But she brought a lot of people together. And now I think we you’re right, I think we do a lot more are kind of providing experiences. And you kind of get that look like well, they’re just dogs like do they really care about going to the beach, watching our dogs on the beach? I think they love it. Or, you know, we take them to the mountains and they love it. They chase. They do chase, they love it, like whatever they can do.
Courtney
Yeah, we try and do all of these different enrichment things both with, you know, just activities that we do here and the training that we do and figuring out you know, kind of what each dog’s thing is that I think we’ve kind of seen with our own dogs that Mikey is a barn hunt dog for sure. Carolina loves agility. Lyra likes scent work. And I think kind of having these experiences with some of the foster dogs that we’ve had has changed the way that we interact with our own dogs.
Renee
Oh, absolutely. No, and I think especially we’ve just opened up to boarding and daycare. And we’re looking at all these kind of new enrichment things that we added in and making sure that all of our dogs participate in all those activities like you know, we’ve got core in our little pocket pit who goes and jumps into a bottle, what do you call it … bottle pool, bottle pit. Yeah, to search out. treats out of plastic water bottles and all sorts of stuff. It sounds silly, but she enjoys it. We play bubbles with them, all this kind of things that just make their life full. And then on the flip side is when they pass it leaves to me a whole and things just don’t feel right for a while.
Courtney
Yeah. When I think like, yes, they don’t feel right for a while. But we also have so many more memories that we can pull on about each dog as opposed to, you know, I think about like dogs I remember having as kids like, they stayed at home and we went out in the yard. And that was, I mean, their life in comparison feels much smaller. And yet, even the memories that I have, there’s not as much variety and there’s not as many things as I remember. Because like, yeah, how many times can you remember a day that you went and sat in the yard? I think that’s been different. Yeah. Well, I think the other thing that is kind of different with the way that we’ve done it is, like you mentioned that we have the social media presence. So for the Rescue Ranch, we’ve got, I think, almost 50,000 people now that kind of follow their stories … more than that, if we count across all the social media platforms, of people that really invested in these dogs with us and get to experience their life, but also then have to experience the grief of losing them.
Renee
When I think I mean, how many times do we, I mean, we do the same thing. We follow other dogs and other rescues, and it is still a gut punch when one of them passes or like, it always gets me when they’re doing well. And then all of a sudden, you lose them. And you’re like, oh, you gotta be kidding me. That it hurts almost like they’re, they’re not one of ours. But it still hurts.
Courtney
when like, it’s just about like, they’re not one of ours. We also have dogs that we have adopted out because we’ve been doing this now for 15 years or so, fostering dogs and for as many as we have lost in our care that we’ve done hospice care for medical things that you know, they weren’t adoptable. We have adopted out that many more
Renee
grief there, when, because we just had a we just lost a younger dog. What was it two days ago, that had been adopted out and in the manner that it happened, it was devastating. I think I know it was for the adopter. But it was devastating for all of us too like, it’s like an extended family. Yeah. And I think that’s one of the things that’s really neat with the rescue work that we do do is that we kind of continue, like we post adoption updates, and we hear from owners a lot. We see him at events that we may hold or they just send us, you know, updates periodically, that they’re still present for you, even though they’re not in the house with us.
Courtney
Well, I think like we’ve talked about too, that as our rescue has shifted, we don’t do the volume of dogs that we do anymore, but we do your dogs that require a lot more in care, which means I think our family of rescue people that adopt from us has become smaller and closer knit so that it feels like when are we are still really attached to those dogs even after they’ve left.
Renee
Yeah. And there are people. I know, I was thinking when we did … we do a giant Easter egg hunt every year. We stuff like what 500 plastic Easter eggs with dog bones and treats and we put it out in the yard. And it is like a giant family reunion to me. And when you catch up, and like we’ve watched some of the volunteers like their kids grow up, and now their kids are having kids and we’re like, oh my god, we’re getting old.
Courtney
You first.
Renee
Yeah, you see, I mean, and we’ve gone through them losing their pets. And they still like I mean, we have people that still keep in contact with us. Even though the dog that they adopted is gone, you know, they are still on social media and other platforms follow along. But it is like a giant extended family. So it’s really neat. In that experience. I think it’s very unique. But also, it kind of opens you up for so much emotions, or so many emotions. It’s like some days it’s overwhelming, like what do I do with all this? Or like when one passes or one dies unexpectedly. It really is like emotions magnified because of the volume that we do.
Courtney
So kind of talking about they’re overwhelming at times. How do you think the way that you process grief has changed, Going through it as often as we do?
Renee
That’s tough, I would say in some ways it has, and in some ways, I don’t think it has changed. Like, cognitively like, you know, I can sit back and say, especially if we get a hospice one, you know, what you’re signing up for. And you know, that at some point, really, they’re all going to leave us at some point, but you come in prepared, and you know, you’re going to lose them. Whereas, and I think that shifts like my relationship with them, and that I want to give them the best experiences before they go. And I know, I can do that. When we have another dog like Bree that we just lost unexpectedly that … can you say sucks? I mean, there’s no way to prepare for it. So I think in some ways, having done the volume that we have, is that you try to prepare, and then in other ways, you’re still human, that it still hurts. And like, I think you could always compartmentalize it, like, Yes, we did the best we can or you know, when one leaves us that opens up a spot for another, like you can tell yourself all these fine, wonderful little things. But it still hurts. I don’t think like losing Bree hurt as much as when we lost Willa, or one of our first Bostons, those things still hurt. So in some days, it is overwhelming. And some days it’s not. But I think anytime that you love something, you run that risk of you’re gonna lose them. And there’s no way not to feel I wouldn’t want to not feel all the wonderful feelings I have for them. Just to avoid the pain part. Yeah, I don’t think that’s humanely … I mean, it’s not healthy to me or possible for me to do it. I can’t separate that piece.
Courtney
I don’t think that you can love them deeply without hurting deeply when they leave.
Renee
Absolutely. And like I’m not like, in for some of them, like the ones that are suffering, like, you know, it is a gift to be out of that pain. And wherever they’re at in their next life, you know, all of those things, you still know those things. And it hopefully it brings comfort, but I’ve never like really separated it out. Like, I know, they’re better off. But it doesn’t make it any less painful.
Courtney
I think for me, I feel like especially in the beginning and maybe when our pace was so frantic, that it was like you never had an opportunity to grieve. So it was just constantly ‘let me put this in a box and move on to the next emergency.’
Renee
Definitely right on that. Because we were so because we’re running such a higher number of dogs that you couldn’t break down, you couldn’t take time to grieve because you had 20 other dogs that you had to look after and be present for. I do think that that is very different now that we have time to really sit with it.
Courtney
I think we’ve learned to give ourselves a little more space for grief and processing time.
Renee
Well, I think just how our life is set up now is that we do have that luxury. Before I don’t think we did. And I think I felt like I was hitting a wall at some point. Because I don’t think we did a great job of kind of mostly taking care of ourselves at that time. You know, they talk a lot about compassion, fatigue. And so it for me, it would be hard to go to work and my job is emotionally, very taxing. And then to come home, and our home is this environment that you can’t get away from it. And it’s still the same, I guess setup but because of the way we’re doing rescue is different. It allows us the freedom to take care of ourselves a little bit better. And hopefully we learned that over time that we had to take care of ourselves.
Courtney
So you can’t see it since we’re on audio but now we have dogs wrestling on our heads. So as we kind of wrap up, are there things that you think you could offer advice to people who may be facing the loss of their pet and they haven’t done this 100 times.
Renee
I think the idea of really allowing yourself time and space to grieve is incredibly important.
Courtney
I think even knowing that it’s OK to grieve differently for different dogs.
Renee
Each one seems to hit differently. It may, I mean, I think your relationship with your dog is unique. It’s not. I can’t say that I’ve had two relationships to two different dogs that are identical. In that, yeah, you’re gonna grieve differently for them, and it’ll hit you at different times, like for somebody, it may be when they go, you know, get in the car, maybe they’re always used to having a dog, and that’s with them. And that’s when it hits them more. Somebody else, it’s, you know, oh, they love jumping in the fall leaves, and it may hit them in fall. So just kind of knowing that things will hit you differently at different times, depending on your relationship with that dog.
Courtney
I think to even looking back at dogs, that it’s been years, since we lost them, there are still certain times of year or certain things that we do that you go back and really feel that grief, almost brand new.
Renee
Yeah, and I think that’s the hard part. And I think there are something I mean, definitely time does make things better for me, I can say that. But yes, there are times that it will hit me or if I can’t stand it when somebody sends me a memory on Facebook. You know, like, you know, hit me out of the blue like, oh, I wasn’t prepared. Yeah. Like stop sending those. Yeah, that sometimes it’s more raw than other times. But I think as a whole that, you know, that silly saying about time kind of kills things? And I do think it does. It doesn’t mean I loved them any less, or things like that. I think the pain is just not quite as intense.
Courtney
Yeah. And one of the books that I read, they talked about, like, I was envisioning grief is like, I don’t know, like a ball or memories or a ball and it keeps hitting this button of grief. And as you move past time, the ball doesn’t get any smaller and the button doesn’t get any smaller, but the room that that ball is rolling around in, it gets bigger, so that it still hits just not as often. Yeah. All right, so is there anything else that you can think of that you want to say about losing dogs?
Renee
I mean, really, it’s just that it’s OK to grieve them. You know, I think some people say oh, are you here and say oh, it’s just a dog. So many of us now in our culture, it’s a family member, not just a dog anymore. And that it’s OK to grieve and that it’s OK to cry or it’s a however you choose to grieve that it is okay and that you need to because I think they hold such a valuable place in our lives that you got to honor that.
Courtney
Well, thanks. This was a different kind of interview. Yeah guys
Angela
I recently started volunteering my photography skills with one of the rescues local to me in Eastern Washington and North Idaho.
This is something a lot of pet photographers do when they’re starting out. They need to build a portfolio, practice a few things and do some networking to get the word out about them.
I certainly tried several years ago but I had to stop. Leaving dogs behind in their kennels broke my heart. I wanted to save all of them. My last day at this particular shelter, I left behind a Great Pyrenees that I couldn’t bring home with me. I left the facility in a puddle of tears.
After all of my grief training, I’ve added some resilience to my toolkit and I can leave the rescue I’m currently helping with a light heart and a smile, knowing I’m helping dogs find their families.
But I don’t know that I could do what Courtney and Renee are doing, guiding many dogs down those last walks to the end. Many of the dogs they take in are suffering from serious health issues, abuse or neglect.
They don’t resist the urge to connect with these dogs on a deeper, emotional level. They give each of them their all to ensure their journey on this Earth ends happily and peacefully.
Their emotional strength is tested frequently and they must make difficult, heartbreaking decisions around end-of-life care and ending a life.
This constant moral dilemma of balancing a dog’s quality of life with their suffering takes a toll.
Luckily, Courtney and Renee have each other to rely on, to confide in, to support. And their unwavering commitment to providing love and comfort to dogs in their most vulnerable moments is a testament to the depth of their compassion.
Saving one dog may not change the world, but for that one dog, the world will change forever.
And don’t forget you can keep changing the world for your own dog by staying up to date on her wellness. Use the code ONELAST, all one word, until the end of this year to get 15% off Dr. Julie Buzby’s Tip to Tail Health Scan. The link is in the show notes.
Next week, I bring together some of the photographers of One Last Network to help you choose the perfect location for your tribute sessions with your pet.
Until then …
