“If they love me that much, why can’t I love me that much,” Maureen Scanlon asked herself one day.
And it’s true.
It’s a very common story I see in not only my Big White Dog Photography clients, but also in my dog-loving friends and, of course, myself.
Maureen Scanlon is the founder and of Maureen Scanlon Life Coaching, an author, relationship expert, motivational speaker, positive change integrator and spiritual coach. From young professionals to middle-aged adults, Maureen has successfully helped many clients overcome past experiences and negative thinking.
In addition to her real-life experiences, Maureen has held group coaching sessions and retreats for mindful change, and created a five-step program for fostering meaningful relationships.
She is an award-winning author of two books called My Dog is More Enlightened Than I Am and My Dog is My Relationship Coach.
Maureen and I have a lively discussion about what our dogs teach us … in their time here with us and in the days after they leave us. Right before Christmas, Maureen’s beloved Brodie died from osteosarcoma, the second-most common cancer that takes our best fur friends.
We explore that and how Brodie continues to show her the way, even making occasional appearances to let her know he’s still around, looking out for her and the rest of the pack.
Have a listen.
What to listen for
5:00 Why dogs are better at life than humans
19:06 How Maureen found peace after Brodie’s death
26:41 Getting ready to say goodbye
41:05 Brodie continues to show up for Maureen
Find Maureen
Maureen Scanlon Life Coaching
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My Dog is More Enlightened Than I Am on Amazon
My Dog is My Relationship Coach on Amazon
I Never Knew But My Dog Did on Apple Podcasts
I Never Knew But My Dog Did on Spotify
Angela Schneider
Welcome back to One Last Network and episode 23.
Today in The Art of Learning from Your Dog, I chat with Maureen Scanlon, a life coach whose work is inspired by the connection she found with her dogs.
“If they love me that much, why can’t I love me that much,” she asked herself one day.
And it’s true.
It’s a very common story I see in not only my Big White Dog Photography clients, but also in my dog-loving friends and, of course, myself.
Maureen is an award-winning author of two books called My Dog is More Enlightened Than I Am and My Dog is My Relationship Coach.
You can pretty much tell where our conversation is going to go, just based on those book titles, eh?
Maureen and I have a lively discussion about what our dogs teach us … in their time here with us and in the days after they leave us. Right before Christmas, Maureen’s beloved Brodie died from osteosarcoma, the second-most common cancer that takes our best fur friends.
We explore that and how Brodie continues to show her the way, even making occasional appearances to let her know he’s still around, looking out for her and the rest of the pack.
Have a listen.
Angela
Good morning, Maureen Scanlon, how are you today?
Maureen Scanlon
I am fabulous. Hello, Miss Angela, how are you?
Angela
I am well, it was such a treat to talk to you yesterday about One Last Network and our and our mission. If the three or four people who regularly read my blog on bigwhitedogphotography.com are listening, they know that I believe dogs can be our greatest teachers, if we let them be. How did you fall into that way of thinking?
Maureen
It was a necess … a necessary epiphany through a lot of pain that I had been through. So I was involved in a domestic violence marriage for 11 years, he was an alcoholic. And we … after that, I divorced him and continued on in some narcissistic relationships and kept doing that. From the age of 18 to 45, I had never been out of a relationship. And then I had sort of this, like moment of I need to be alone, I need to figure out I’m the only common denominator in this equation of all these failed relationships, and I don’t get it. So one night, I’m laying in my bed and boohooing and my little sob story, and I don’t get it. Why doesn’t anybody love me? Why can’t I be accepted? And I had my big puppy Brody, Australian shepherd on the side of the bed. And then Jade, my chunky little chihuahua, was on the bed with me. And Brody’s over there protecting me, making sure I will pay near me on all times and Jade’s licking my tears, and she looks at me, with the most adoration and an innate unconditional love. And it was my moment of like, that’s it. That’s, that’s what it is. I don’t love myself unconditionally. Like looking at my dogs, if they love me that much, why can’t I love me that much? That’s what really started the whole journey for me of the coaching and the writing. And the speaking,
Angela
I had a very similar experience where I shifted my life. And I stood on top of a mountain with my boy Shep, and I never felt stronger or freer or more powerful in that moment in my entire life. And I remember looking at him and thinking, this is all I need. This right here. Was it similar for you that you … you looked at your dogs and realize I don’t need anybody else? This is it.
Maureen
That was absolutely that moment. I had said this to you yesterday, but you know how our dogs can communicate such important messages without saying a single word. And we humans use 15,000 words a day. And that’s exactly what it was for me. And it started my journey where I had to learn to do things by myself. And then it was taking them to the dog park was so much fun and, and really looking at the social experiment of a dog park and then just going hiking, and people would talk to me on the trail. And I know this sounds silly but when you haven’t loved yourself, and you’ve been codependent for the majority of your life, it’s a big deal when people react to you and you alone. And I remember talking to a couple and they were laughing and they complimented me and I walked off. And I remember in my head going, wow, I’m kind of likeable. Like I’m I am fun. And it was that journey of keep believing marine keep building on that. And that’s really what the dogs taught me because by watching them, do they ever ask for anybody else’s opinion? Absolutely not. They don’t care, they don’t care what you think. They don’t care if you don’t want them to take a nap. They don’t care if they’ve got the zoomies, they’re gonna do what they want to do while still accommodating and loving you. And that’s what’s the beauty of them.
Angela
And just by the nature of them being dogs, they lead us to the people we need in our lives too, don’t they?
Maureen
Oh 100%. It’s … if you … if you watch them in the dog park it’s the same dynamic so they go around … so Brody, we would go to the dog park and Brody comes in the gate just a runnin’ and like a greyhound. And he would go around to every single person, the owners and say hi, lean up against their chair, get petted, lean up against their leg. Meanwhile, Jade is a little skittish. She’s smaller and we don’t go in the timid area because there’s no timidness in our family. So she would walk the perimeter with us. If a dog came up to her — now she has a type, and it’s Aussies and huskies, especially huskies, she just has an affinity for them. I don’t know, they’re super sexy and attractive to her. So, but these, any dogs that would come up to Jade, if she didn’t like them she’d do a little snap, and then she runs around me. So she’ll run around, like getting away from him, like kind of tucking her tail and like, get away from me. But the huskies come up, and she’s just wagging her tail and sniffing him. But Brody, wherever he was in the dog park, saw there were dogs around her. And if she did that little yip, he’d come running, and he would get between her and that other dog and be like, hey, are you good? Are you good? And then if she was good, then he could go take off and have some fun again, it was the cutest thing ever. And so that probably didn’t answer the question. But that story leads … that story leads me to, they know who they want to hang out with. And we should too, because they just, they’re clear about their boundaries. And I think that’s what we need to do as well.
Angela
Oh, that’s brilliant. One of the topics you’re always prepared to speak about is the secret to happiness is easy. Just ask your dog. How are dogs so much more enlightened than humans?
Maureen
Yeah. Because they feel their way through life. They don’t think their way through life. That’s it. That’s the simplistic, easy way to say it, is if you got up every day, and you did only that which felt good, you would be in your happiness,. And it’s not a destination, it’s a feeling every day that you want to achieve, right? So you get up and you have breakfast, well, you’re not going to eat something you don’t like, because then you’re not going to be happy. So you’re going to eat the thing that sounds really good to you or you crave and is healthy. And not always, I mean doughnuts, hello, they make me happy, whether they’re healthy or not. But let’s be real, and this is kind of the thing. I’m not gonna sit and beat myself up and eat some bran, a bran muffin when there’s a donut there. Okay, I’m gonna have to walk a couple extra miles or whatever, but I don’t like exercise either. Doesn’t make me … it doesn’t make me happy. But a walk around the dog park I can still get exercise so see? I can make myself happy. All those things are follow your feelings. If you don’t feel like making a phone call or if you don’t fit if you have an appointment that you don’t feel like doing that isn’t absolutely necessary and I don’t mean don’t live up to your obligations and responsibilities but if it can be put off or if you can do it later or you can even meditate before you do it to feel better about it. That’s the premise of the dogs. They always feel good about what they’re doing.
Angela
Is it possible to get that breakfast served me every morning like Bella does?
Maureen
Sure is, sure is. You know what it is? I’m sure there’s a what is it … Uber Eats. You know, choices! That’s all I’m saying hey, whatever you want whenever you want it.
Angela
Hilarious. So now you’ve built a successful life coaching business and written two books one that one in NYC Big Book Award around this whole philosophy that dogs are more enlightened than us. Are all of your clients dog lovers?
Maureen
Um, have you ever not met a dog lover? I think the whole world are dog lovers in and even if they don’t own … this is the thing … even if they’re not dog owners, you can’t hate a dog because you’ve seen a movie about a dog you see funny videos on Tiktok about a dog so I found that it resonates with everyone regardless of whether they can have a dog own a dog or in some people have fear … fear of dogs but they still can enjoy who dogs are.
Angela
And you … you it’s really more about the psychological connection between how dogs exist more than it is just about dog lovers, right? I mean I was being a little cheeky. That’s my way.
Maureen
Right?
Angela
Now Brody, we’re gonna step into some, some difficult subject matter now … how did he come into your life? How did he change it? And how did he leave it?
Maureen
It’s interesting, most of the animals that I have I’ve never chosen, they’ve chosen me through other people. And I think that’s pretty common for a lot of us who are fosters or you know someone … a friend of yours can’t take care of it. And so my daughter, my daughter was going to college and she had a boyfriend at the time. And they’d been together for a couple of years. And they thought they would get a puppy together. And when she went to college … I love your face because you know where this is going.
Angela
Yeah. I’ve heard many stories like that, too many.
Maureen
They thought that he would take care of the puppy while she was at college. And then when she came home from college, she would get the puppy and they’d be this little puppy happy family. He drives her to college, and she breaks up with him on the first day. So, me and Brody, here we are. Now I have a puppy. And we got him young. I think they had taken him away from his mother a little too young, because I think he was only like five and a half, maybe six weeks at the most. Yeah, it was really young. So he really was like this big baby because he’s … he had this separation anxiety are really bad. And so, of course, I have Brodie and I fall in love with Brody. And he just, oh, he’s just amazing. And we had a little Shih Tzu, a little black Shih Tzu named Juliet at the time, and they were buddies and I wanted them to have a companion. And Brody was just … he was the kind of big bear just peaceful presence. He wasn’t that affectionate; he would love it when I would spoon him, but he wasn’t like going to come up and snuggle with you. He was like, you come to me, but I’m always gonna be at your feet or between you and the door of any room that you’re sitting in. And it was really cute, how protective he was like that. And so just amazing. Just an amazing dog and sweet. He’s just a sweet boy. He was just … he became kind of the grandfather, the wise grandfather of the home. Juliet had a tragic accident. Someone had left our gate open, and she got run over by a car. Brody was depressed for three weeks, he wouldn’t eat, he wouldn’t drink, he wouldn’t get up. It was so sad. And so then I went and I got Jade, our Chihuahua and she was only five months old, and she was one pound. And she was super, super cute. She’s multiplied times 15. And yes, it’s my treat habits that made that happen. And he, he came to life when Jade came into the household. I mean, he became her protector, her father, her brother, her, all of it. He loved her so much. And he just came back to life. And we started going to the dog parks and bringing her even as a tiny little one, to get used to socializing. And so as the years have progressed with Brody, he’s started as we know, Australian shepherds, German shepherds, Malinois, those, those bigger dogs, they get hip dysplasia, and they get a lot of arthritis. And that’s what happened. So he was getting this hip dysplasia in his hip and I had braces. I even bought this $500 wheelchair because I was like, I’ll be darned if he can, you know, he’s gonna be … he is gonna walk and live his best life. He healed from his ACL injury and still had the hip dysplasia, and so he was able to still walk but stiff. So fast forward to December. He’d been limping on his front leg, and I thought it was his shoulder and I felt it and I thought, oh, it’s a little bit swollen there. So I was I seen it, I put a brace on and I made an appointment with the fat and I took him in. And the vet said, I don’t have good news. And I said, what do you mean? It’s just arthritis like his hip right? And she said, No, it’s osteosarcoma. And of course, I died. I just break down right there in the office. And osteosarcoma is the second most common cancer that kills pets, dogs mainly, and it’s a tumor that starts within the bone, so deep within the bone and as it grows, it weakens the bone around it, and eventually will fracture that and that’s when it’s really painful. And so he was doing well, had everyone here for Christmas, the whole family and we’re walking him to … we have a downstairs bathroom and it’s a floor level so he doesn’t have to take stairs and I was walking him to go give him a bath. And he let out the most excruciatingly painful yelp and scream and it continued and we got him back to his bed. And you could just tell there was no comfortable position, there was nothing and he had been on Gabapentin CBD, hip and joint chews, I’d had all of this stuff plus I had extra painkillers like carprofen for him. And so it just about an hour went by, and he was just in so much pain, and I was devastated. I cannot let him be in this much pain. I started calling around, and I found a fabulous, wonderful vet that comes to your house at end of life and helps them transition. She moved another client to get there for us. And she was the most compassionate, empathetic and patient. Because I really, all the times I had pictured this moment, I had thought I would die. I literally couldn’t even … I would sob just thinking about the moment. And now here I was in the moment. And I didn’t know how I was going to, how I was going to manage it. And I truly, truly believe Brody chose because Jordan was there. My daughter who got him originally, that he loved her to pieces, he knew her. My son who takes care of him all the time when we go on vacations, you know, he dog sits all the time. My best friend Pam was there. My grandson was there. Everyone who’s been such a big part of his life was right there hugging him and loving him. And he got steak and we got cheeseburgers and he got everything. He got massages. And he got just hugs and kisses. And I would lay on his little bed with him for hours. And they just so precious. And he deserved the ending that, that we gave him because I didn’t want to see him in any more pain. And so it was five days after the vet diagnosed him. He transitioned on December 21.
Angela
Just this past year.
Maureen
Yeah, a few days ago. Not even a month yet.
Angela
How are you right now with it?
Maureen
I’m at peace. I am completely at peace. And the thing that’s interesting is, I’ve never really been familiar about the grieving process. Now I’ve, I’ve lost my grandparents who my grandmother had Alzheimer’s, I had time to prepare that, you know, her time was coming, my grandfather passed from lung cancer, and I was in Germany at the time. So I didn’t watch the decline. And I haven’t really lost … and fortunately, I’m blessed that I haven’t really lost someone really close to me. And so I didn’t realize this, but my husband, my grandson, said that I was going through the grieving process long before he passed. And it was my mind’s way of, of being able to cope with it when the time came. Because you go through the anger stage, you go through the denial and the bargaining. And my bargaining was, oh, it’s just, it’s just arthritis. And, you know, the denial is like, oh, let me just I you say, oh, I put a brace on, he’ll be just fine. And the anger was when my husband was said, he said, you know, at any moment something could happen. And we’re gonna have to make a decision. And I’m like, What are you talking about? We’re not doing that. Stop saying that. Don’t put that out there. So I went through all those stages before it happened. And then the last one was just the acceptance. And so I was able to have that acceptance, mainly because the whole family was there. And then because I had such a compassionate caretaker that made that transition so beautiful and peaceful for him.
Angela
What’s your background in psychology? How are you able now to look back at that event and say, maybe I was prepared to do it, because of all I had been through anyway. Does that make sense?
Maureen
As in everything that had happened in my life up to that point, or …
Angela Schneider
where I’m going is, I think we’re not necessarily taught grief, even in your psychology degree. You know, in a lot of social work programs. We’re not really taught how to handle grief. And yet, you have an intimate knowledge of the working of the brain. Can you look back now and see a more logical side to it from your psychology background?
Maureen
Yeah, completely I, I have a certification in acceptance and commitment therapy. And I think that was really what it was for me was, I didn’t realize the more I had talked about it, the more that I saw him declining, the more I was actually accepting it even though the conscious thought of it was like, I don’t know what I’m going to do when Brody’s not here, I … I … it’s, I’m just gonna break down, I’m gonna, I’m gonna lose it. But I think subconsciously, I think I was accepting that he, he came here for this short period of time. And that we do that a lot with our rational is, and it helped me and it was comforting to me to say he came to give unconditional love and, and I’m not gonna lie, this is kind of an important thing. We talk about like, we don’t get trained how to deal with grief. But the main thing is we don’t tell people like what to say to help other people through grief. And the thing that helped me as crazy as it sounds, is everyone kept saying he knew how much he was loved and he had the best life. You gave him the best life. And that was so comforting to me. Because making that decision for him at the end was the one thing that I could do to give back even one tiny iota of what he had given me in his 11 and a half years. So that was comforting.
Angela
One of my mentors, David Kessler has written a book called Finding Meaning and he believes that we need to find meaning in the lives of our passed loved ones or pets to help us heal, but I look at you and I see someone who took Brody’s life, and Jade’s, and built so much meaning around it already to help other people. Is there more meaning to be found in Brody’s life for you?
Maureen
You know, there is. There is because I think, and this and this is just human nature, I think we kind of take for granted the people in our life and the pets in our lives, that they’re just there. I think the void was really what he showed me was how constant and how loving and supportive he was, and that he was always there. And if you carry that over into your life, how many times have you not made a phone call for two or three months to your parents or your grandparents or your sister or your brother. You know, we think we have all of this time and Brody is taught me in those 11 and a half years, he was constantly nurturing me, and fostering the relationship. And we go 80 years if we’re lucky, and we don’t give as much nurturing and fostering to our relationships. And that is what Brody taught me that he could give so much in such a short time. What is my problem? Why am I not giving that? Why can I not be that loving, supportive, compassionate, nurturing to all the relationships in my life?
Angela
Brody was surrounded by the people who loved him most in his final hours. Those are also people who love you most. So you had a good support network, you’re not going to be looking for support. What are ways people can find support when they may not have a loving, well-functioning family like yours? I know you’re gonna say it’s not well-functioning, we have our problems.
Maureen
I know. Whose family? No, I think we’re all united when it comes to animals at least. What was beautiful about this, that I … that I found any, if you’re gonna go through that, and I, I’m just gonna say this a million times over, please do not leave your pet at that … at that moment. Please don’t go. If you have to go to your vet — and I’m going to say this save up, you know, put some money in a little fund, because I’m telling you guys, it’s expensive, but don’t they deserve that? So put a little bit of money away for a fund. The whole thing total, I think came to, I don’t know, maybe $800. And we got a beautiful urn and a footprint in fact, in fact, here’s our little footprint.
Angela
Oh, that’s beautiful. I love it. She’s holding up a rock with Brody’s paw print in it.
Maureen
It even has some of his little fur in it, which makes me happy. That’s just a perfect, perfect little footy. And so it is going to be you know, they have packages, so do the research before. And I remember thinking, I can’t look at this stuff before it happens. And I couldn’t. But I kind of, it actually didn’t happen the way it was supposed to. But I think it would be a good idea to recent research it beforehand, even if like before, they’re not healthy, like do it earlier, so it’s not so painful. And the fabulous thing is, don’t take them to your vet and have this clinical setting and then leave while … while it’s happening. I mean, they were there for you all those years, don’t you dare leave them at that last moment, I am firm about that. They know, they’re looking to you to be there for them. And so if you want to do it at home, and I think it’s the most beautiful way to do it, and find a vet or find the company and there are many of them in your area in everyone’s areas, they have support groups. After Brody passed, the vets, the vet personally would check on me and she’d say, hey, I just wanted to check and see how everything’s going. And here’s, you know, here’s a support line, if you’re having trouble, it’s a grief recovery, pet owner recovery. And she’d let us know, oh, by the way, you know, his ashes have arrived. I mean, she was on top of it. And it was so cool to feel that supported. So even if you don’t have family that supports you, there are support groups out there. There’s meetups that do that, there’s books, there’s videos, there’s YouTubes there’s so much now available that didn’t used to be so …
Angela
I feel, I hope that I may be better prepared to say goodbye to Bella, with all that I have learned and studied about grieving, although I don’t want that to happen anytime soon. This week with her TPLO surgery has been difficult enough. How can educating ourselves about grief and other life challenges help us be more resilient?
Maureen
Hmm. Because then you’re … you’re removing the unknown. And even though we don’t know when it’s gonna happen, at least we can educate ourselves on what is going to happen. And that’s really the … for me, that’s the key is to be … anytime we’re prepared, think about this. Anything that you’re prepared for in life, you have way less fear and anxiety surrounding it, right. So it’s kind of that idea. And I remember and this might sound weird, you … you just made something pop into my head. I remember, after the diagnosis, the day that we got home, I remember envisioning life without him. So he, he would lay … we had his bed, wait a little bit … big memory foam bed next to our bed. And sometimes he would, he would move in the middle of the night and be by the dresser, which is in the pathway to the restroom. And me being me, I have to get up three times a night to go to the restroom. And I would have to like feel my way on my hands and knees. So I didn’t step on him. And I remember thinking, I remember thinking after the diagnosis, I’m not going to have to worry about walking to the bathroom anymore. No, it was sad. But it was also sort of me staying in reality. I think the denial is the big thing. And I think that’s … we can’t wrap our brain around it. And as you know losing a parent, you can’t wrap your brain around that until it happens and that void that’s there is incredible. But I think just sort of preparing for a pet is different or it’s like humans that have cancer and you have a prognosis. I think there’s more preparation than if your loved one gets in a car accident or has a sudden cardiac arrest. So I think if you have the time to prepare, you can start a little bit of the mourning process before it and then the acceptance kind of kicks in when it does happen.
Angela
I had had a complicated relationship with my mother and I spent many years thinking that it would be a lot easier after she was gone. Boy, do we tell ourselves lies?
Maureen
I know.
Angela
But don’t we live kind of in a state of denial, especially with our pets? Because no one wants to think about that day coming, when our dogs are happy bouncy puppies, or summiting mountains with us, or what have you. Isn’t it important, though, to think about those days and prepare ourselves? Or should we continue living in a state of denial to keep ourselves comfortable?
Maureen
Until they have a health issue, I think live in that state of just enjoying every single minute, but then when the reality of the end of their life comes … Brody, when he got the hip dysplasia, and he couldn’t go to the dog park anymore, I had to, I had to face reality. And I had to sort of look at the longevity and hope that he had a few more years, but I wasn’t in denial of it. But you know, I was just thinking as, as you were speaking, we live in denial. We do live in denial in life anyway. But I’ll tell you why it hurts so bad with the dogs. Because people bring us anger, sadness, happiness, frustration, dogs don’t bring us all of that they only bring us happiness. And so losing them feels so huge, because it’s the one thing that you derive most of your joy from. And so you think about it, if you … if you have like your favorite car, say, say you bought your favorite car, you’d always wanted this car, it’s your dream car. And then all of a sudden, it was taken away from you, you see nothing but the loss of that joy. You don’t … you’re not gonna rationalize, well, you know, it was breaking down and had 190,000 miles. It’s just … it was joyful. And I think that’s really how — not to compare the dogs to a car — but I’m saying to somehow relate it that it’s the thing that always brings you happiness. It doesn’t give you anything else that doesn’t make you feel good.
Angela
Yeah, I got you. You still have Jade.
Maureen
I do. And I have Callie who ironically … she’s a … we thought she was a border collie. And then then I thought she was a very fat Border Collie. And now we know she’s actually an Australian Shepherd like Brody was and has a border collie head. So she’s, she basically has a little head and a big ol fluffy Australian body. And she’s just a derpy dog. And she’s just funny. She makes me laugh. And she’s right here by my side. She’s black and white. And she has extreme anxiety, separation anxiety from me. It was my daughter’s dog. And it was not treated very well by her ex-husband who not only did abuse against my daughter, but also against Callie. He would … she’s a farm dog and they were on a farm and he would tie her up, you know, on the on this farm as a puppy, and she would have these seizures and my daughter would get mad at her she would you know, say you know what did you get into and she’d yell louder and Callie would cower. Well, about a year ago, we we got my daughter’s dog and my grandson came to live with us. And it’s just where I’m not getting … I will not give her back because she’s very happy. Well, I took her to the vet turns out she has epilepsy. So she’s been having these seizures because of a genetic reason, not because she got into anything because she never got into anything in our house and started having these seizures. And I’m like, there’s something else going on here. So Callie — and you read it in the book — is just derpy she’s just funny and she just lives in the childlike fun of the moment. Jade, I don’t know if you can see her, let’s see if I move this you could …
Angela
Oh, there she is all curled up in the … in the chair.
Maureen
She’s in her little dress. That’s my … that’s my chunky monkey. That’s my big beautiful girl. She’s … yeah, she’s 15 pounds, and she’s just as round as she is tall, and we love her. She’s very active though, but … so I’ve got Callie and Jade.
Angela
How did they help you transition into this new world without Brody?
Maureen
I … that really made a big difference. I think for me I was worried about Jade. Jade was attached to Brody’s hip. So he had a little spot on his nose. The vet never knew what it was we did tests and everything and they said it’s just like a, I don’t know an ear, a skin irritation and it’s been there for years and we would put some stuff on it, creams or whatever. But every single day Jade would lick it and … and lick his nose and make sure that it was all cleaned up because sometimes it would bleed a little bit. And she took care of him and they would sleep together. But to but on the that bed, that … that memory foam bed that Brody had and they were always together. After Brody passed, my grandson brought us a stuffed animal that looked like Brody. And I … it was so cute that he brought this stuffed animal. And so when I got Brody’s ashes, I put it on the mantel with his little paw. And I put this little stuffed animal there. Well, I had gone out to the backyard, or I’d done something Jade pulled that stuffed animal over to her bed. And has not, and has not moved it since. And Callie, who tears up stuffed animals, plays with all kinds of stuffed animals, has not moved that stuffed animal. It’s the cutest thing, cutest thing and Jade lays on his blanket, I made sure she could still smell her brother. And smells fade. That’s how dogs know how long you’ve been away, when your smell starts to fade. Same with the dogs. That was what the vet had said as well. I put his stuffed animals and I put his blanket where he had always laid on the bed. And Jade was pretty melancholy for about two weeks, she was walking around looking for him. And she’d go to the bed and she would lay on it and so I think as the smell faded, it’s almost like she had acceptance as well.
Angela
Having now seen that dogs grieve as well, will it affect aspects of your coaching?
Maureen
I think it’s all in alignment with just being able to have acceptance of everything that happens in our lives and an understanding of the need for the experience. And I, I am always one … I have couples that you know have divorced and I’ll have them come and they’re just lonely and they just don’t feel good about themselves. I always suggest if they’re able to to get a pet. It’s an emotional support baby. I mean every … there’s no … this bothers me … certified emotional support animal; they’re all emotional support animals, like nobody needs to wear a vest. Like you know what, it’s a given. If they have fur they’re an emotional support animal, in my opinion really is. So that just drives me crazy. Like who’s to say if mine isn’t emotional support and yours isn’t, like hello. So that’s annoying, but I always suggest … I always suggest to people to get an animal because it teaches us more about ourselves and it does help us to love ourselves. And I always say when you lose a pet don’t hesitate to get another one because their purpose is to leave room and for them to leave that room for you to give love to another one and I, I think it’s important for dogs to have companions and that’s my opinion as well. I think two … two dogs is important. They give each other something you can give them. There’s a sibling camaraderie and affection. Callie has taken more of a protective role now with Jade. Now that Brody’s gone because Brody was her protector, and now Callie is the one at the dog park who runs over and make sure Jade’s okay, so it’s super cool how that has transpired.
Angela
In the short time that Brody has been gone, what has he taught you while watching over you from another plane?
Maureen
That he’s good, that he … he is okay and I … I’ll tell you a couple of signs that I got, which is neat. And I think it’s important guys, ask for signs and you’ll get them. Just say, hey, I really miss you, buddy. You know, let me know you’re still around here. And he would scratch on the sliding glass door, neither Jade nor Callie scratch on the glass door. And I would be on the patio and we have a doggie door. But you have to go around, out the doggie door and then around to the patio rather than just the patio. So he knew that, he was like, I’m not going to take the long way around. And with his hip, I didn’t want him to have to walk that far. But he would get obsessive. It’s like scratch to go out. And then he would two minutes later scratch to go in, and then scratch to go. So it was just this constant scratching on the door and I got so in tune to it. It was a subconscious reaction to just go open the door even if I was on my phone or whatever I was doing. And I was sitting one night, crying, after he had passed and I just was like, I miss you so much. I wish you were here with us. And you know, I hope I did good by you. And I heard that scratch on the glass. And Jade was in the bed. Callie was in another room. And I was like thank you, buddy. Another time I was doing my makeup. And Kelly’s black and white, Brody was like beige with some black and white and you know, very light colored and Cali is very much black. And I was doing my makeup in the mirror. And I see something passed by. And I was like, Oh, I was like did Callie … it was really slow, which is how Brody was. And I was like, Kelly never walked that slow. And I turned around and there was no Callie. So he was there. And he was he’s that’s where he was wherever I was he was and … look for signs guys and they’re there. They’ll be there with you.
Angela Schneider
I I’m not the most spiritual person in the world. But I see, even eight years later, I see flashes of white. And I know it’s my Bubba come in to check on me. And he lets me know everything’s okay.
Maureen
Yeah, definitely. And they’ll show themselves with your other puppies too.
Angela
Oh, yeah.
Maureen
And they’ll take on some of the characteristics just like Callie like she’s never been as … as close to me, physically all the time. As she is now. It was always Brody. Brody was the one here and now that he’s gone. She became like my husband. We just said it before this podcast my husband said the spirit of Brody is in Callie now he goes, I mean, if I go to the bathroom, she’s follows me if I go outside, here I am podcasting. Always. Everywhere I go. She’s doing the Brody thing. And she didn’t do that before. So it’s cool that Brody’s like, hey, hey, I’m just letting you know, you need to take over, you’re you’re next in line here. So go you know, make sure mom’s okay, I’m leaving you with my duties. And it’s cute to look forward in your dogs to you’ll see it in your dog … in the other dogs, the siblings.
Angela
You have given us so much to think about and so much to learn. What is one piece of advice you can add when you’re approaching the end?
Maureen
Spend as much time with them as you possibly can, I don’t care what’s going on in your near life, take a week off. Something that someone had said to me that I pass on to everyone is take pictures of everything. I would take pictures of his paw in my hand, I would take pictures of you know, him and Jade together, take those pictures. Because once, once they’ve passed, those are going to be your joyful memories. Even once the grief is passed, you’re going to just look back and smile at them. And don’t be in a rush to like, get rid of their stuff. Don’t feel like you have to. If I get rid of their stuff, then I won’t be sad anymore. No, no, keep their stuff, sleep with their blanket. That’s okay. That is absolutely okay. And just remember that they’re only here for 10 to 15 years. If we’re fortunate more than that. They’re here to do one thing, and it is to love unconditionally. And they only have to live a short time because they have no other garbage to work out in life. They do their job and then they go, and they bring you things that are priceless and that nothing else can give you.
Angela
Absolutely beautiful. And the perfect stop point. Thank you so much, Maureen. It has been such a wonderful pleasure to speak with you this morning.
Maureen
Same. I’m honored and thank you, listeners. I appreciate all of you for being here and thank you, Miss Angela, you’re you’re the best and I love my soul, puppy-loving people.
Angela
Where do we find you?
Maureen
I’m at Life Coach maureen.com My books are on their life. My Dog Is More Enlightened Than I Am and My Dog Is My Relationship Coach. And I also have a doggy boutique. I don’t know if I’ve shared that with you. Where we have healthy treats. Three ingredients so there’s no parabens, no dyes, nothing unhealthy and I even have CBD in there’s hemp infused ones as well. So go to my dog is everything.net We’ve got safety products, seatbelts all kinds of stuff bandanas for every season, so it’s a fun little place, go get your baby something.
Angela
Are we gonna have to have you back on to talk about CBD?
Maureen
I swear by CBD. I love it. I love it. It it helped Brody it may I’ll bet you it gave him two extra years.
Angela Schneider
Wow. And your podcast, which I’m going to be on soon.
Maureen
What is that is I Never Knew But My Dog Did. It’s on all platforms, all podcasts but I mean look how perfect that all fits in. I love you for … for being the it’s all dogs today. That’s what I love the most is I don’t get to do all dogs on podcasts for the entire hour. So thank you so much and your photography still blows me away.
Angela
Oh, thank you. You’re so lovely.
Maureen is an exceptionally opinionated person and I friggin’ love that about her.
From how many dogs you should have to whether you should be present at their ultimate end, she has grown to be so sure of herself and how she wants to spend the rest of her days here on Earth.
She and I hit it off right away.
The day before we recorded this episode of One Last Network, she interviewed me for her podcast, I Never Knew (But My Dog Did), where she gives people the space to tell their stories … stories that are unbelievable, tragic and sometimes heartbreaking, but from which they learn, learn how to overcome and be triumphant on this struggle bus called life.
Check the show notes for links to Maureen’s website, socials, podcast and books.
My Dog Is My Relationship Coach is sitting in the queue of my Kindle and I can’t wait to dig into it.
Next week, Jes Wasik of Bark & Gold Photography in Pittsburgh takes over the mic. She interviews her client Kayla Siefert who booked a Rainbow Session for her rescue beagle Stanley, after learning he was in end-stage kidney failure.
Kayla lifted Stanley up last November and is finding her grief journey to be long and convoluted.
Jes and Kayla share what that’s all like.
Until then …
